"God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His one and only Son into the world so that we might live through him. Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins."(1 John 4:9-10)
There’s a truth at the core of reality, a truth deeper than our emotions, our relationships, or even our best intentions: God is love.
Not just that God has love, or that He shows love, but that love is quite literally who He is. And that love is the most powerful, world-altering, soul-transforming force in existence.
The problem? In our modern world, we often think of love as an emotion. A feeling that comes and goes, that ebbs and flows depending on circumstances or chemistry. But biblical love—God’s love—isn’t something we conjure up. It’s something we receive.
It doesn’t originate in us; it originates in Him.
If we try to love from our own strength—out of our own limited, human capacity—it will always fall short. But if we abide in the love of the Father, letting it shape us from the inside out, love becomes something more than a fleeting emotion. It becomes a way of being. A way of living. A way of seeing the world.
Which is why the single most important question in our spiritual formation isn’t:
Are we getting more theologically informed?
Are we praying more?
Are we serving more in the church?
All of those things are good. But they are not the thing.
The real question—the one that matters most—is this: Are we becoming more loving?
Love One Another
"Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another."(1 John 4:11)
"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."(Romans 12:10)
We live in a world that is increasingly disconnected. Social media has given us the illusion of closeness, but we’re more lonely than ever. People crave deep, meaningful relationships but have no idea how to build them.
The good news? God has wired us for connection.
We don’t have to wander aimlessly, trying to figure out how to relate to one another. His Word gives us a clear blueprint for what love actually looks like in practice. And that blueprint is built on ten key relational needs.
The Ten Key Relational Needs
Every person—whether they realize it or not—is longing for these ten things:
1. Acceptance – (Romans 15:7)
"Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God."Acceptance is about receiving others just as they are—no prerequisites, no conditions.Sounds like:
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
“It’s really good to see you.”
“I love spending time with you.”
2. Affection – (Romans 16:16; Mark 10:16)
"Greet one another with a holy kiss."Affection is expressed through physical touch, kind words, and warmth.Sounds like:
“I love you.”
“I care about you.”
“I’m so thankful for you.”
3. Appreciation – (1 Corinthians 11:2)
"Now I commend you because you remember me in everything."Appreciation recognizes the good in others. Gratitude that isn’t spoken is gratitude that doesn’t exist.Sounds like:
“Thank you for doing that.”
“I really appreciate you.”
“I’m grateful for what you bring to my life.”
4. Approval – (Ephesians 4:29)
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up."Approval is deeper than appreciation—it’s affirming who someone is, not just what they do.Sounds like:
“I’m proud of you.”
“I love who you are.”
“You’re becoming someone incredible.”
5. Attention – (1 Corinthians 12:25)
"That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another."Attention means being fully present—not just physically, but emotionally.Sounds like:
“Tell me more about that.”
“I’m listening.”
“I want to hear your thoughts.”
6. Comfort – (Romans 12:15; Matthew 5:4; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."Comfort isn’t fixing, solving, or giving advice—it’s simply being there.Sounds like:
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
“You’re not alone.”
“I don’t have the answers, but I care deeply.”
7. Encouragement – (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24)
"Encourage one another and build one another up."Encouragement fuels perseverance. Sometimes, people just need to know they can keep going.Sounds like:
“I believe in you.”
“Don’t give up—God is with you.”
“You’re doing great. Keep going!”
8. Respect – (Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 2:17)
"Outdo one another in showing honor."Respect means seeing the dignity in someone, regardless of their status or past.Sounds like:
“I value your opinion.”
“You are important to me.”
“I appreciate the person you are.”
9. Security – (Romans 12:16,18)
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."Security means knowing a relationship is safe, steady, and not going anywhere.Sounds like:
“You are safe with me.”
“I won’t give up on this relationship.”
“I want to work through this together.”
10. Support – (Galatians 6:2)
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."Support is walking with someone through life’s hardest moments.Sounds like:
“I want to help.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“How can I come alongside you?”
Love That Transforms
When we meet these needs for one another, we become a people who reflect Christ’s heart. Love is not an obligation. It’s not a task to check off. It’s who we are becoming.
And that kind of love—the love that loves—is what changes the world.
But before we can pour that kind of love into others, we have to first receive it from God.
How to Receive God’s Love
Find a quiet moment. Open your Bible to 1 John 3:1:
"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are..."
Let those words sink in. Speak them over yourself. Declare:
“God, I am your beloved child. I am worthy and cherished because You love me unconditionally.”
And then—live loved.
Because when we live from the love of God, rather than for the love of others, we are free to love as He does. And that love? It changes everything.
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